[roevermca1996] Hi . Telephone Converstaions.

True telephone conversations recorded from various Help
Desks around the U.K




Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

====

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?

Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it
yet... it's still

on my desk... sorry .

====

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left ?

====

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me !
I'm not Bill

Gates damn it !

====

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try it

says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in

front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't
find it...

====

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?

Customer: No.

====

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.

====

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but
nothing's

happening.

====

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another

keyboard ?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
work !

====

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple,
a capital

letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

====

A customer couldn't get on the internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?

Customer: Five stars.

====

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

====

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screensaver on my

computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

====

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?

Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for
you. Can you

please tell me how long it will take before you can help me
?

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ?

Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button
more than 4

hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping
me ?

====

Helpdesk: How may I help you ?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the
circle around

it ?


=====






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